Thursday, July 6, 2017

Katy Perry is wrong.

Not Like the Movies is a song by Katy Perry that talks about how real life love is supposed to be just like it is shown in Hollywood. She talks about the "fairytale feeling"and "coming undone" , and the entire song sends the message that if your relationship doesn't compare to your favorite chickflick, romcom, or dramatic Nicholas Sparks story, then it isn't right. Well you know what Katy?


It's so easy to define love as a fairytale feeling that makes you come undone and gives you butterflies and fills you with complete joy all the time, and maybe sometimes that is true.  I have indeed felt those feelings before.  HOWEVER, at the ripe old age of 18 which I can now so very confidently boast of (if that wasn't obvious enough, I'm being sarcastic), I've come to the realization that I have been so very naive about love.  And the dumbest part of it all is that I thought I already understood that love wasn't always a fairytale, but I hadn't really experienced it yet. But this last week I did, and now I think I can say with true confidence that love seriously isn't always rainbows and butterflies - it's compromise (citation: She Will Be Loved, Maroon 5). 

Last Wednesday I flew down to AZ to spend a week with my boyfriend (for the record, I hate the term "boyfriend", but my other options are basically either "lover" or "significant other" and both of those feel even more pretentious, so I'm choosing the least of all evils), with whom I've had - to put it in the simplest and easiest to understand way - an on again/off again long-distance relationship of sorts.  It's complicated. I don't feel like explaining because that's not really the point.  The point is, I didn't realize it until I got home again today, but I had made up these expectations in my head beforehand about how I thought things would be between us.  When they weren't all met, even though I wasn't totally aware that I had made them, it caused things to become tenuous and uncomfortable.  The kinds of expectations I had were exactly the kinds of things that Katy sings about in her song, and like I said, even though sometimes they can be met, it's very dangerous and harmful to demand those things to be fulfilled 100% of the time in your relationship.

I think it's fair to say that most people want to be in a relationship with someone who will love them unconditionally and never ask them to change because they love them exactly the way they are.  Well...  Expecting to be loved completely without ever changing anything is pretty selfish.  I think an important measure of true love is being willing to change and mold for the benefit of your partner, as well as always being willing to talk openly and honestly about how you feel and what you want.  In my experience, talking frankly about things that can be uncomfortable is the quickest way to solve pretty much any issue in the relationship.  Communication!  

Another important realization I've had:  It's totally okay to not feel okay all the time.  You shouldn't feel the need to downplay your emotions or your problems or invalidate yourself when you don't feel good about everything.  And you absolutely shouldn't try to ignore those feelings when they come.  That just causes more problems, and it's totally obvious to the other person in your relationship that something is wrong, so playing it off as nothing and saying "I'm fine" is just dumb.  I know because I did it, and I felt SO much better after just freaking sitting down and talking about my insecurities with him.  I also had to realize that just because I didn't feel okay, it didn't mean that I didn't still love him or that our relationship wasn't going to work out again - it really just meant that there were things that needed to be addressed and figured out between us. 

I guess my point in writing all this (of course besides just divulging all my thoughts as if this were a journal) is just to reassure whoever reads this -which will definitely be very few people - that just because you're not seeing your love life play out like a Disney princess or Meg Ryan in some sappy movie with Tom Hanks, you don't need to give up on the relationship, and you also don't need to wait for Prince Charming or bust.  Real love includes the act of falling, and then also the act of staying in love.  It's just as much of a choice to love someone as it is happenstance.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017


I was lucky enough to be born into a family of six, with five wonderful older siblings. However, this post is entirely dedicated to just one of them, and her name is Emilee.

Emilee's birthday is 05/10/1996 and mine is 04/30/1999, making her my closest sibling in age, which I think has likewise made our relationship closer.  Something about seeing all of your older siblings leave one by one until it's just the two of you (and then eventually just yourself) brings you together I guess.  And all those times she let me read her old journals.  And all those times when we talked about the hot missionaries that we would have over for dinner every week. And all those adventures we went on when she finally got her license (Namely, we went to Michael's. The craft store. Yes, even then, she was a granny).

These days, most of our interactions have been reduced to texting (and even further reduced to just sending gifs or bitmojis back and forth), since she had to grow up and move to Idaho and get married. Boo. Alas, she remains my sisterfriend forever. <3

I affirm that this is one of the best photos ever taken of Emilee and me.

Not entirely sure what was going on here, truthfully..,.

That time it snowed a pretty good amount in North Carolina and these Utah girls were excited.

I've never been very good at comforting people.

That time our booties were fly up in Gettysburg.

When I came home from being away all summer and our hearts were whole again.

Twas the summer, and we were derp.

The most recent photo I have of the two of us.

Still true.

Monday, January 2, 2017


Well, it's January now, and I haven't touched this poor blog in quite some time.


I'm quite a different person now than I was then, really.  Want some pictures?  Here, have some pictures.  Look, I have eyebrows!  (Thanks, makeup.)

July 24th at my family's annual Pioneer Day BBQ down in Monda. Elise and I made some pretty rad chalk drawings.

My last girls' camp with my best friend Shayla. <3

My brand new little nibling, Lucy Rose Peterson (born 09/07/2016), these days more commonly referred to as "Goose!" My eyebrows were quite intense that day.

Just a random cute picture I took with my parents eating dinner at Chick-fil-A not too long ago.

Me and my seesters enjoying some DELICIOUS ice cream in Las Vegas just after Christmas.

I am going to turn eighteen this year.  And then I'm going to graduate high school!  That's exciting.  And kind of terrifying.  I wonder what else 2017 has in store for me...

It's kind of cliché to do this, but I'm proceeding anyway:  If I had to turn the entirety of the year 2016 into a lesson, I'd say that I think life (or rather God) was trying to teach me that the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing, and I need to be patient.  I'm still struggling with that.  But I have high hopes for this year.  Cheers!

Thursday, May 5, 2016


You know how when you start a new project, you think you're going to spend all this time on it and it's going to be so amazing, and you'll just love it so much? That's what I thought this blog would be, and here I am on May 5th posting for the first time since December. But I am not giving up! I even updated a few things... most noticeably the title, since I turned 17 last month.

Truthfully, I'm not even sure why I started this blog. Maybe because two of my sisters have consistently updated their blogs for years and I wanted to join in on the fun. Not that I have much of an audience, but then again, maybe another reason was just because I wanted to do it for myself.


A lot has happened in these last five months. Emilee got married in December, so that's cool I guess. I'm now the only unmarried child of Anthony and Laura Keele, although I'm no longer single, which is another new development, and an incredibly pleasing one at that.

My Grandma Billington passed away in March. We all knew it was coming, but it was and still is really hard. She is in a good place now, and death isn't the end.

You know, not a lot of exciting things really happen in my life, I'm realizing. Oh! But next month something exciting is happening! On June 9th, I'm flying to Arizona to spend a few days with my beloved and his family that lives in the Mesa area. I am so looking forward to that. Long-distance relationships are really hard. I don't recommend them. But the phrase, "distance makes the heart grow fonder" is absolutely 100% true, so maybe if you're having relationship issues, you should move away from your significant other for a while and see what happens...? 
Just kidding. That is terrible advice. Don't listen to me, just laugh at my lame jokes.
But seriously, only getting to see him for a few days every few months out of the year really puts a damper on our relationship's ability to progress. (And as a side note, while the establishment of our official relationship is a recent development, we've been 'friendly' for some time.) Of course, we still talk all the time because the Internet is a thing and it is incredibly useful and amazing. But there's nothing quite as wonderful as holding your man's hand and getting to give him a hug and breathe in all of his natural, aromatic goodness. Sigh.
 But on the bright side, he is moving to Utah in August!

I am seriously so stoked. I don't even know what it's like to not constantly be missing him. 


Anyhow. This has been a blog post delivered to you by the one and only: Jessica Keele.

Monday, December 7, 2015

The law is fixed.

    "[M]arriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God" (The Family: A Proclamation to the World) .  Regardless of your beliefs, this is what is true.  Arguments for the separation of church and state are irrelevant, and I'll show you how:  The laws of math and science are always true, no matter what it is you find yourself doing, are they not?  I might be writing a paper for an English class, but that does not mean that two plus two no longer sums four.  Two plus two will always equal four, even if I am not doing math all the time.  I might hate math.  I might not understand math.  Math might frustrate me and confuse me.  I might fight against math with every fiber of my being, but it doesn't change the simple fact that 2 + 2 = 4.  The government might come along and say that math is now illegal, or that 2 + 2 = 5, but everyone would know that that is completely ridiculous, because 2 + 2 = 4, no matter what anyone says or does.  The equation cannot change.
    God's laws are the same.  You might hate them.  You might not understand them.  You might find yourself frustrated and confused by them.  You might fight against them with every fiber of your being, but it doesn't change them.  It won't change them.  It can't change them.  
    In my honest opinion, the government should not be involved in marriage at all.  It has no business being involved.  If people want to get married, they should have that right, and it should not be presented to the public to decide what is right and wrong for everyone and have society pitted against one another, neighbor against neighbor.  Any individuals should be able to pursue a lifestyle that they feel suits them, as long as it is not harmful to anyone around them.  In a way, I suppose that means I was at least somewhat in support of legalizing homosexual marriage, but it doesn't really matter if anyone is for or against it, because God is against it, and His opinion is the only one that truly matters.
    On a lighter note, enjoy this image I found.  If "gay pride" is a thing, why not straight pride? 

Sunday, October 18, 2015

paper cuts and broken hearts

     It's been kind of a rough day.  I haven't changed out of my pajamas, my hair looks like it did when I got out of bed (although it's in a braid, so it's not entirely terrible), and a few tears have been shed.  Have you ever experienced those days where all you want to do is put on some sad music and wallow in your own self pity?  That has been my day today.  I also just remembered that we have ice cream in the freezer and I think I am going to eat it once I finish with this post.
     The point of this post, however, is not for me to complain about my problems and vent to a virtually nonexistent audience.  Throughout the day I have reflected on my depressed state, and I realize that this is not, by any means, the end of the world.  I can and will get over this, I just need some time for my reopened wounds to bleed.  BUT - and here I am getting to the point - just because my problems are not necessarily the most terrible thing, it does not mean that they do not matter.  One of my biggest pet peeves of all time is when people pull the, "someone out there is having a worse day than you" card.  Just because someone else's problems may be worse than yours (although to classify some problems as more problematic than others is completely subjective), it does not, by ANY MEANS, mean that your problems do not matter. 

Everyone has problems.

     Everyone has them, and they all matter to each individual that they affect.  If our problems did not matter, then Jesus would not have suffered for them, but He did.  He knows every little thing you go through, from your paper cuts to your broken hearts, and to Him, every single one of those things is important, no matter how small.
     I think I am particularly passionate about this because, being the sixteen year old girl that I am, I get told and/or treated like my problems don't really matter all the time.  People just love to pick on teenagers, telling them that high school is easy and that life doesn't really start until you graduate, or start college, or get married, or have kids, etc. etc.  Maybe life does get harder when those things happen, but that doesn't mean you need to tell me that I shouldn't feel bad about what I feel is difficult.  Did you forget what it was like to be a teenager?  Don't try to convince me that you had the easiest time of your life prior to turning 18 year old, even if that is what it seems like now, because while something is happening, we don't know what we'll be like when it is over.  
     But I don't mean to turn this completely in the direction of teenagers, this just happens to be my perspective because I am one.  All I am trying to get at is that you matter.  Every problem you have, and every pain you have ever felt, and every trial you have ever experienced, and all that have yet to come, every one of them matter.

     Now please enjoy these stereotypical quotes I found on Pinterest, and have a nice day.  Remember that Jesus loves you.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

An Anti-feminist Account

    Don't take this post's title too seriously.  I don't consider myself as much "antifeminist" as I would consider myself instead, a bane to that for which feminism stands.  Because seriously you guys, my life goals are to become a housewife and have babies.  And play my video games during the down time, of course.  But that 1950s American Dream, with the white picket fence, polka dot dress, pearl necklace, and red lipstick ready to greet my husband when he comes home from work?  Totally me.
    But okay, realistically, when I eventually do get married, I'm probably going to be like, what in the heck was I thinking, this sucks, I hate cleaning and I just want to get pizza for dinner.  But until then, I'm keeping my perfect housewife fantasy in my heart.


    While the topic of feminism is still relevant, however, I will give my serious opinion of it, which is still that I do not believe in it.  Feminists argue that being feminist means being in support of equality between men and women, but if that were truly the case, it would not even be called "feminism", because the name itself spotlights the female sex.  It should be called humanism, or equalism, but it isn't.  It is called feminism, and it is not, dear feminists, all about equality.  It is about women.  I will not disagree with the claim that women have been oppressed in the history of civilization, and some percentage of the male population has treated them in a less than desirable way, but I do believe that in the current society, inequality is not really much of an issue.
  • Can I vote (once I am of the legal age)? Check.
  • Can I work? Check.
  • Can I drive? Check.
  • Can I marry whomever I choose? Check.
  • Can I essentially make my own decisions and live my own life? Check.
    Most feminists still complain that women don't have equal representation in work forces, women don't get paid as much as men, women get raped, women get harassed and treated like objects, et cetera. The list goes on. Obviously, rape is a horrible thing, and women should not be harassed, and women should get paid the same wages as a man doing the same job just as well as he is. However it shouldn't just be singled out and called feminism that people stand for these things.  It should just be things that people believe in.  It should be common sense, common courtesy, and common knowledge.  Feminism should not need to exist.  But it does.
    I do not believe in going around saying that my sex is oppressed and men need to treat me better, because I don't believe that is the case.  However, I do believe in self-empowerment, and I am a strong advocate of independence.  I respect anyone who stands up for things they feel strongly about, even if I do not agree with what they are saying.  Among all the rights granted me in this country, the two I believe I value the most are my right to religion, and my right to free speech.  And with that, I will say that if you think I'm wrong for thinking feminism is wrong, all I can say is,